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    Tuesday, August 28, 2012

    Common Disciplinary Mistakes On Parenting

    A child is gift of GOD and it is our duty to secure this gift and let them flourish. Though the parents have deep affection and love for their children, yet, in today’s stressful life, they find themselves at the losing end, because, sometimes under mental pressure of their day to day life, their behaviour towards their children gets off tracked and it develops communication gap. Most of the parents feel that there are many things to learn for good parenting. In Utopian world, parents are thought to be super heroes who have flexibility, energy and patience beyond limit. But, as we know, perfection itself is abnormality and none is perfect. Therefore, one must have a wide variety of practicality and try to avoid some mistakes when one is in the process of making one’s child disciplined. 

    Some of the common disciplinary mistakes the parents make are

    Yelling and Nagging
    Parents, sometimes, keep yelling at their children when they find them hard to be controlled. This way the parents simply vent their frustration. But it is of no avail because the children, with the time passing by, learn to deal with these “habitual yellers”. For these types of parents; the alternative to this yelling is not to say anything until the anger comes under control because most children behave in the cool manner when they are calmly and reasonably requested.

    Nagging is another mistake the parents keep doing. They don’t want to make their children angry so that they keep asking them constantly if they do this or that. The alternative to this behaviour is just making firm request to do or not to do and if not heard, give them some small punishment as no TV for sometime.

    Lecturing and Advice Giving
    Lecturing is just a monologue and involving no interaction with the audience. A child who is unable to keep pace with the class in completing the homework, the lecturing has no effect on his mentality. Likewise advice giving is also an action which generally falls in deaf ears. These are painstaking exercises having no results. Instead, if the parents try to put themselves in the children place, they could understand and thereby handle the problem.

    Shaming and Belittling
    Parents, sometimes, strangely behave in the way which cause their children feel inadequate and smaller. This is the grave mistake and the parents should keep themselves off from such type of behaviour.

    Physical punishment and Coercion
    A child can never be disciplined by the physical force and coercion. These types of behaviour are only helpful in creating rebellious attitude in a child. Try and talk to your child to help him understand where what exactly his problem is.

    Every child is unique
    One should always keep in mind that every child is unique and behave accordingly. Do not compare your child with others. There might be something in your neighbour’s son or daughter that your child doesn’t have but similarly your child also has some qualities which their child does not have.

    Imposing excessive guilt
    One has to be careful of the behaviour not to make one’s child guilt conscious. Do not exaggerate any matter. Children are very sensitive and this would make your sensitive child guilt conscious leading him to depression.

    Don’t expect too much
    Treat the child as a child not as an adult and don’t overstretch his limits. Give him/her their own space and let them take their own decisions. This will make them happy and develop a strong bond between you both.

    Be a role model
    A child is always following the footsteps of his parents, so be a role model. Do not do anything you don’t want to see your child doing like smoking, drinking using wrong words etc. Children have the tendency to follow their parents and you may unknowingly lead your child in the wrong direction.

    These are some common mistakes the parents must be aware of.

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