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    Thursday, March 22, 2012

    Saying No To Children In Right Way

    It is very difficult for parents to say “no” to their children. However, saying “no” to children for certain things is a must. And also it becomes a daunting task for parents to say “no” to children and prevent them from doing certain things. The word that is used more often during the parenting years is ‘no’. People actually use this word at the drop of a hat and the manner in which they blurt out a “no” makes one wonder whether they are really aware of what they are saying a no to. When used repeatedly in this manner, the word loses its effectiveness and become more like a crying wolf. So parents must learn how to say a ‘no’ and when to say it as well.

    The best option is to find an alternative for a ‘no’; and it is a good solution. When you limit its usage, your kids will know that you really mean a ‘no’ when you say it. When you are responding to a question like, “mom, can I have a chocolate?” say, “yes. Later”. Note that your child is ready with a ‘no’ but will find it harder to fight against a ‘yes later’.

    Then for a question like, “mom, can I leave for my friend’s place?” you say, “give me a minute dear”. You take out some time to work your case and points. Get your logic right on why a visit at that time would be inappropriate, you will find that this can effective assuage a chance of an argument.

    Then, for the third query like, “mom, can I stay out the night” or “mom, can you buy that to for me?” say, “no”. This will mean that you are setting limits and the kid is expected to obey them. Explain them the reasons and be convincing enough to make your kid understand the situation.

    When you are saying a no, be particular about these aspects:

    • When you say a NO, mean it - If your child acts up and you give in, he will get the impression that this is going to work every time. He will get used to it and will go to any extent to make you relent.
    • Do not make it up by anything else - Say, you have said a no to one of his demand for a certain toy. He is in a foul mood; do not try to make up for it by buying him a chocolate instead. Children can be very perceptive; they will soon deduce that they should have cried hard enough to make you budge.
    • Forget the instance instantly - Harping about the bad behavior on the mall or at a relative’s place will not make the situation better. It will only encourage their rebelliousness and they would feel like repeating the act again.
    • Talk - If your child is just a toddler, explain that you have said a ‘no’ as the thing is not good enough. If he is at an age that he understands money, say that the toy that he was demanding does not fit into your financial budget.
    As such, saying no in a right way will help you to make sure that you are raising your child in a right way. It will also help you to be sure that the child does not get de-motivated because of saying “no” bluntly. Hence, saying ‘no’ to your child in a right way will add to your effort in wholesome development of your child.

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    1 comment:

    1. I have been experimenting with not saying no at all while setting boundaries, and it is next to impossible. However, it is possible to communicate negative consequence to toddlers without saying no. One just has to communicate the undesirable nature of the outcome, and they usually get it, and mimic your response the next time around.


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